I wish to share some of my woos with my friends, other husbands, those like me who have to deal with the daily chore of going out to buy vegetables and groceries. Why me you may wonder! This happens with me very often, just because my dear wife is too busy with work at home or may be because it is time for her to watch her favourite TV serial. So she very amiably asks me to write down a list of things to be purchased. And she gives me the precise items and quantities so that I do not get confused. Yes, she is very considerate knowing how dull or dumb I am even now after years of doing this ever since I retired from my main job!
With all the preventive measures she takes, I nevertheless still manage to make a few mistakes and then have to face her music. You understand what I mean?!
You see, this seemingly simple chore of buying vegetables and groceries is full of many pitfalls. If let us say, bananas are on the list, it is very easy. I know my bananas and how many to buy. But if the fruit happens to be a papaya, then it is a bit complicated for me. One papaya, but how big? And it has to be ripe enough but not too ripe! How do I know that in the face of the determined seller who assures me, 'Saab, ekdum theek hai'. In good faith, I buy it and sure enough, my wife rejects the item when I return home!
Generally, I do not make mistakes while buying vegetables;I mean take one or two. I know the tomatoes, onions and potatoes so simple to buy and also my favourites. But walk in brinjals or eggplants and I am tormented by their different sizes, shapes and colours. I simply love palak that is spinach and I am flawless with it. But others in the group like methi or dhania, coriander make me a bit tense. I recognise them but am not sure about their quality!
I am generally clueless about other vegetables like beans and rest of the stuff. I am OK with cabbage and cauliflower but can survive without them. I also do not care about the popular bhindi that is ladies fingers which my son-in law Neeraj simply loves. When he visited us soon after he and my daughter Savita got married, he accompanied me to buy vegetables. To my dismay, the first item he chose was bhindi. I told the seller to weigh a quarter of a kilo of the stuff. Neeraj was baffled! Why so little he asked and then quickly raised the quantity to one kilo! This reminds me of my son Mahesh who is so much like me! He and I keep things simple;we are staunch non-veggies! We have this conviction that vegetables make life complicated for no reason!
Today, my shopping list contained peanuts with which I am quite familiar. I came home with with three bags full of shopping, very confident that I have missed nothing, slipped nowhere! My wife opened the bags, looked quite satisfied till she noticed the packet of peanuts. 'You have brought the wrong peanuts. I asked you bring plain peanuts and you got the salted ones' she remarked haughtily!
Buying rice is really tough for me. A few days back, my wife asked me to buy basmati rice, one kilo, along with some other items. Till some years back, it was easy to buy basmati. Now, there are so many varieties of this brand, I am pretty nervous about it if my if my wife forgets to mention the exact brand!
By now, you must have realised that one can not be too complacent even in such innocuous activities like shopping vegetables and groceries. You need to be on guard, eternally vigilant lest you meet your Waterloo with some peas!
With this aim in view and also to placate my most annoyed wife, I suggested a sort of truce with a simple system;every time I return from such shopping, she should examine the things I bought and then grade me. Like they do in schools and colleges! If I got nine things right out of ten, she should award me 90% marks which would be like outstanding! If I get eight things right, I get 80% marks which is equivalent to excellent. And if I manage to get seven items right, I get 70% which is still a first class!
What do you say folks? If you are with me on this, please pass on this system to your wives and let me know their feedback. As far as my wife is concerned, she gave me a look meaning 'have you lost your mind?' Or something like that!
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