MY INFINITE WARDROBE

You may wonder as to what I mean by 'my infinite wardrobe'! Assuming you will be interested, I wish to share my thoughts about the limited wardrobe at my disposal which nevertheless has stood me in good stead over the last fifty years or so of my adult life. And when I say 'limited ward robe', I really mean it. You wont have to count the items much beyond the fingers of one hand. I am sure, this will strike a chord in the hearts of my male contemporaries. I am deliberately using the word 'male' here. It goes without saying that women are totally a different breed as far as their wardrobe is concerned. It will continue to dazzle and bewilder men in general  and it is beyond   an ordinary man's imagination to even try to describe it!

Allow me to stick to the main subject of my wardrobe! I remember the time, when as a young man, I entered college, the romantic world of the young with immense possibilities besides education, mainly hopeful encounters with the fair sex! You wanted to look smart, at least better than the next guy who somehow appeared to command better attention than yours truly! I knew I was partly to blame for this situation, assuming that we were otherwise playing on a level field in terms of our looks and ability to be coherent without missing too many heartbeats, while trying to make conversation with girls. It was elementary that to start with, I should make some effort to wear clothes of the prevailing fashion if I had any hopes on that count!

And that brings me to the crux of the matter! You see, I was invariably behind my times in my choice of clothes, old fashioned really whatever it means considering that I was still in my teens! I was pretty backward. I pretended to be indifferent but lacked common sense or was plain lazy, I am not sure. I think  I just lacked the courage to change with the winds of change. And by the time I gathered enough guts to fall in line, I found myself once again at the end of the line!

 Forgive me if my sequence about clothing is a little muddled.  I distinctly recollect  the days when the bell bottoms style of pants made their first appearance. They looked so silly to me! I ignored this new fad and continued to wear the standard, 'straight' pants. But I knew that this will not take me anywhere. I could clearly see the pitying glances girls gave me. Boys were more forthright making fun of me at the first opportunity. Some even called me 'Uncle'! Then I knew, enough was enough and became bold! I went out to buy my first ever piece of a pair of bell bottoms and then bought one more. And for the next six months or so, I strutted around in those bell bottoms showing off to whosoever cared to look in my direction!


 Very soon though, I realized that my newly acquired pants were already on the way out. I had washed the bell bottoms barely a few times since I bought them and the next 'new' were already on the horizon. It was the advent of the drain pipe style of pants. Life was certainly not fair, I thought! I remained a straggler of sorts and bravely continued to wear my two bell bottoms alternately. But there was this niggling anxiety at the back of my mind. When will it be my day to turn to the drain pipes! Well, it came soon enough but not really!

As I ventured to buy a pair of drain pipe pants, I discovered that there was very little choice. Are they already part of history, I thought with a sinking feeling! But clueless as ever, I bought a couple which fitted me. It was another year or so, and  lo and behold, the simple straight pants of the past were coming back and how! As a new fashion! Lucky me, thank heavens I had not thrown away my original ones! Let me not bore you with my travails about shirts I chose and wore with those blasted pants. Suffice it to say that here too, my selection was very narrow and boring! 


As I was coming to the end of this 'battle of pants', something very momentous happened in my life. I joined the army! On my commission day as an officer at the Indian Military Academy (IMA), I wore my army uniform, the olive greens or OG for the first time. It is impossible to catch in words the thrill of those moments! For once, I was oblivious to the mundane things of life like what to wear! I did not realize that from now on-wards till I retire, I was going to wear this smart outfit day in and day out whenever on duty, never missing those pants and shirts of my civilian days. The swagger it brought to my walk and the spring to my steps was never there before! Did I walk on the clouds?! It was a wonderful time, it became my proud privilege to be in my OGs whenever appropriate!


Of course, I had some essential civvies which included a suit of grey color and a couple of matching ties. Thanks to the army regimen, I managed to remain in reasonable shape. The suit, with minor alterations, served me for many, many years. Yes, I acquired one more suit of blue color when I got married. But I suppose, that is mandatory for a guy who wants to get married!


Another generation gone, I had retired from the army and went back to my civvies full time! It was with huge regret that I hung up my beloved OG army uniform which I will never wear again. It was a farewell which made me very sad! 


Back to civil life, I bought my first T shirt when I was in my fifties and that too because I was getting ready for my first ever visit to the land of Uncle Sam, I mean the US, to meet our daughter who had gone there for her Masters. I wanted once again to compete with my fellow men to look smart and 'mod' if that is the right word! A few more visits to US and I sensed that I was getting left out AGAIN unless I quickly made the leap to the universal world of jeans. This time, I did not hesitate too much and made up my mind quickly in favor of this wonderful garment! The jeans aided by a couple of T shirts have finally liberated me from the mental tyranny of having to choose the right kind of wardrobe. And not me alone, it has done this to men and women of all ages all over the world. For me, this is my ultimate 'infinite wardrobe'!


But wait a moment! There is only one little thing now where I have to make up my mind before it is too late, considering that I am in my seventies. What should be the right length of my shorts if I choose to wear them for a game of tennis or just for a morning walk??!!