When the wife is away!

I had just returned from the airport after seeing off my wife who flew to another town on a week's trip to meet her relatives. As I entered my little condo, I looked forward to a week of total freedom. I was excited, I was free to do whatever was in or on my mind or just to laze around, do nothing! I savored that strange feeling of being an absolutely free man ready to indulge in whatever took my fancy. Yahoo! as Shammi Kapoor would have shouted!


Now for heaven's sake, do not start thinking of such silly proverbs like 'when the cat is away, mice play'. My wife is no cat and I am certainly not a mouse! Regardless, I had already made a vague list of things to do when she would be away. Nothing wild, just some modest yearnings of a much married man when the wife is not around!


 It was evening time now and it was the right time to take stock of the 'list'! The first and foremost of course was to have a drink without having to ask her 'if you do not mind!' and I proceeded to do that exactly! Then I looked at the TV which was never at my disposal for the simple reason that we have only one set and my wife makes full use of it What she watches does not interest me,  those loud and boring family serials of mostly women loaded with ornaments, screaming and shouting at each other for whatever reasons the writer and director provided! Now it was my turn! I was free for a whole week to watch my favorites which I will have to look for! News of course and cricket? And may be some sitcoms if you please!


Tomorrow I must go for a hair cut, 'one of my favorite things' as Julie Andrews or was it Audrey Hepburn crooned. This is one thing about which I am always cut up with my dear wife. Whenever I talk of my hair cut, she is at her sarcastic best with remarks like 'where are the hair?!' or 'let the hair grow another fortnight, why waste your hard earned money for nothing!' meaning no hair! If she has her way, she will make my hair cut a six monthly affair except that I have no intention of looking like some arty creep, given my army background!


Before she left on this trip, she had cooked enough dishes for me and kept them in the refrigerator so that I do not go hungry when she is away. Very thoughtful of her, I agree! But then this was my only chance to go out and eat. When we are together, she very rarely agrees to do that. She starts talking of money which we will pay, the amount in which she will make ten delicious dishes to last us for many days, she argues. She is right I know, but then we miss the fun, I try to tell her. She rarely gives way. Nevertheless, I have decided to eat out at least thrice come what may. Time to be firm in life, I pat myself!


What was the next item on the list, I try to recollect. Golf, yes! Only snag is with whom I will play! I have just a couple of friends who play this game. Will they be available? Two games in one week will be fine. I just can not afford more! Next day, I called them. As I had feared, they were busy with some social commitments. Their wives have not gone away for any reason, how sad! I decided to go alone and join some group like many people do. 


I love to go to a library to read. That is one place where I literally forget to keep track of time. I planned to go there every morning or evening considering that afternoons are reserved for my naps. Nothing like books and magazines to read for a person so inclined. I embarked on this with great satisfaction, more so because I did not have to return home in a rush, my wife being away.


So far so good! But I was barely in the middle of the week and I could not see or think of the next item to 'do' in my much vaunted 'list'. I was almost in a panic! Is that all I looked forward to in this week of my 'freedom'?! I had already seen some TV which was enough. My haircut was done, the next nowhere in sight! I barely ate out twice, thankfully returning to the dishes my wife kept in the fridge, cursing the food these restaurants serve! I did have a game of golf. And frankly, going to library was getting monotonous. That is all? What next? What the hell was the matter with me?


The truth was that I was already getting bored of my 'freedom' and was missing my wife! So when she called this evening to say that she had changed her plans of staying with her relatives for the full week, and was returning tomorrow, I could not hide my joy. 'Why, what happened' I asked nevertheless. She said nothing except that she was bored and was missing me! God bless her!