Dance of democracy!

Today, India is charged with the electrifying 'dance of democracy' as they say. So it is not surprising that most common people are affected by the current three front runners, their ideologies, speeches and posturing. No guesses needed who these three musketeers are, Narendra Modi of the BJP, Arvind Kejariwal of AAP and Rahul Gandhi of the Congress. Good time to be in India at this juncture, I must say!

Let me share with you my experiences of the last three days in this regard.

Two days back, I was standing in a line in our army CSD stores to pay for the items I had purchased. In front of me was a senior like me who was sporting a beard. He introduced himself saying he was ex Navy. I said I thought as much because Navy guys usually keep a beard. He replied, no, no, it is nothing to do with the Naval tradition. Then he confided,' I have decided not to shave till Narendra Modi becomes the next PM of India'. I was taken a back but also impressed by his loyalty to NaMo. I wished him all the best.

Then yesterday, as I was walking out of our society for an evening walk, I met another retired army officer who requested me to give a couple of minutes of my time. When I agreed, he took out a noting pad with some columns and signatures. He wanted me to sign the same in support of a well known personality in Pune who was opting to join the AAP of Arvind Kejariwal. As he explained, it was a technicality to be followed by the aspirant. I had hard time explaining to him that I could not do it simply because I did not support AAP. Whom do you support, he asked me. I have not made up my mind as yet, I replied and then continued on my walk.

This morning, I went to our Laughter Club of which I am a member. After we had finished our exercises and Yoga etc, there was the usual chattering by quite a few on assorted subjects, but mainly politics on expected lines. One senior lady came out strongly in favour of Rahul Gandhi. A couple of members responded with their opposing views, the usual ones, citing the recent TV interview given by him. To that, she curtly replied, 'do not give me all that nonsense! So what, she asked! At least, he looks so young and good looking, a far cry from your Modi and that ever coughing Kejariwal. Why does not he consult a doctor?' And then she walked off in a huff!

Everyone to his or her poison, I thought! But the last thought I had was, 'May God bless our people and their freedom to say or do anything as long as they do not violate the laws of the land. And let anyone come to power as long as this freedom is protected and sustained!'

Let India be truly 'मेरा Bharat mahaan'!

Price of progress!

Price or cost of progress is often not anticipated. By progress, I mean progress in material terms. For me, the most striking example which comes to my mind is the installation of a lift in our block in Pune. When it was not there, we all climbed up or down while coming in or going out. It was a bit inconvenient for the residents but had it's own plus point;we occasionally met our neighbours even without visiting them. Though very briefly, we paused to say 'how are you doing?'  and exchanged bits of conversation. Some of us even extended invitations like 'do drop in for a cup of tea or a drink'. New friendships appeared to be just a couple of steps away. With the advent of a lift, the staircase looks so deserted! The promising friendships have taken a few steps backwards it seems!

We live here in US with our children in a fairly upscale neighbourhood. Nice houses, well maintained gardens and every house boasting of 2 to 3 cars parked in front. But very few people seen out chatting on the roads except when they whizz past in their cars. Everyone is very, very busy. And rightly so if they have to sustain their lifestyle. So what is my problem?

My problem is that I am a part of that big global population who are above the age of 65 years. Economists' leading article says that it is close to 10% of world's population. It predicts that it will rise to 13% in the coming 25 years. This phenomenon is the direct result of our material progress where due to improved medical science and better living and working conditions, people are living much longer than before.

Another fall out of this situation is that a good percentage of those 65 plus population are skilled people who are still a part of the workforce. That affects the lives of younger people, skilled or not, who may not find employment when they need it most. It is a vicious process which can not be reversed. It is a complicated situation indeed.

But the most critical and damaging effect of this progress on the lives of people is that they are losing touch with the human aspect. You may meet each other at the week end parties. But you do not really meet! There is no meeting of minds and thoughts. There is no time for it. More often, people 'meet' on the Facebook and on the internet chats where we know that they are likely to fall off with each other. I read it somewhere that Facebook is one of the major reasons of divorces among married people.

The only advantage if it can be so described, is that you may get bashed up on the FB, but not physically as sometimes happened to some people in the pre FB era. Rejoice! For my part, I do become nostalgic of my good old young days when a new bicycle bought for me by my parents was the ultimate prize, albeit material!

Leela Mavshi (Mansi)!

This is about my mother in law! Well almost, because she was her younger sister by a few years. She passed away on August 15 when she was about to reach 94 years of ripe age. May God bless her soul!

We called her 'Leela Mavshi or Mausi as in Hindi. When she was a young woman in her twenties, I am told that she was very beautiful. She did not study beyond a couple of years in college, but was intelligent and well informed for her times. Did her looks and intelligence work in her favour in matrimonial matters? Not really, because she became very finicky in her choices and soon missed the bus as they say! Did she?

Well, time passed on and by a stroke of destiny, when she was in her forties, she got married to an elderly widower from a respected family. As luck would have it, her husband's son from his first marriage fell in love with her niece and as expected, they tied the knot. This niece, Vijaya happens to be my dear wife, Vinodini's younger sister. They all lived happily as one family for many,many years in Pune.

By a cruel quirk of fate, Leela Mavshi and Vijaya both lost their husbands in succession. Time moved on, I retired from my army service and my wife and I chose Pune to settle down. That is where I came in close touch with Leela Mavshi.

As I soon found out, Leela Mavshi was full of zest for life. Because of her health problems, she was bound to a wheel chair in her later years. But her love for life was very infectious. We visited her and Vijaya almost every week. Though not an expert, I had the privilege of teaching both these ladies the basic knowledge of bridge and soon they both became ardent bridge players. My wife and I both enjoyed playing with this duo of Mavshi and her niece and looked forward to it.

As you can guess, we were not playing any high standard bridge. But importantly, we enjoyed it, especially Leela Mavshi. She was really smart the way she picked up the game, system of calling and the points. For her age, it was truly remarkable! Thanks to her enthusiasm, we became eager bridge foursome. We met at her place at least twice a week for this game which were easily our high spots in our dwindling social life.

Let me also share another interesting thing about my interaction with Leela Mavshi, she unfailingly gave me the status and respect of a son in law in which she exceeded my late mother in law who had passed away many years back. In her eyes, I could do no wrong. I was always moved by her this gesture!

Now that she is gone for ever, I personally miss her so much! When we visit Vijaya  now, I almost visualise Leela Mavshi quickly wheeling in their living room with a cheery smile and eager anticipation for a session of bridge.

May God bless her wherever she has gone, I will always remember her most as my bridge sparring adversary!

My friend Dubey!

ये बात बहुत पुरानी यादों की है जब मैं college में पढ़ता था। a friend from those days called today to wish us a very happy Diwali. As we chatted happily about those wonderful bygone years, he mentioned the name of another dear friend, Dubey whom I had neither met or spoken to for more than last fifty years. I learnt that he lives in Indore, a city in MP. He was doing well with his family, children and grandchildren. I asked for his phone number which this friend gave me and I just could not wait to call him!

To give you some idea of my friendship with Dubey, let me admit that he, myself and one more guy formed a sort of troika given to the addiction of missing class of one particularly boring professor. (As if others were not!) We and the professor simply riled each other for no particular reason. So, as soon as his class used to start after the due attendance call, we will sneak out from the rear. You see, we took care of sitting in the last row, close to the getaway stairs! And the best part was that the sporting professor knew about this;after the attendance, he will often murmur, 'Dubey to dubega, Rajput ko bhi le kar dubega'!

More about Dubey! He was simply crazy about getting himself photographed. In those days, I had the privilege of owning a small brownie camera which took those now forgotten black and white film rolls. If we wanted Dubey to do something for us, we simply bribed him with a promise of clicking his picture. For this, we could ask him to take any pose, even the most ridiculous! And he will oblige only after quickly combing his luxurious hair for which he had a small pocket comb always handy in his back pocket. He used to be such a simple guy, never doubting that we sometimes made fun of him behind his back!

Dubey was such a soft spoken person, he never picked up even a moderate discussion about anything. He was the least aggressive in our group. He always carried that trademark side hanging bag commonly carried by many students. We made use of his bag while going to the town, for keeping our small things as if it was common property. But he never minded!

All these memories came flooding back to my mind as I started dialling his number. As he answered and asked as to who was calling, I told him that it was one of his very old friends. When he asked me to give my name, I in turn asked him to make three guesses of his very close, old friends from college days. He waited for a few seconds and then said, 'is it Basant Kumar Rajput?'! Need I say that he made my day!

Marital happiness!

What is on my mind, the Facebook wants to know! Well, this has been on my mind for a long time, really long, almost for the last thirty years when I suppose there was no Facebook. A tricky subject, certainly not for the faint hearted as far as men are concerned. And it is, how come no one thought of designing a meter to measure marital happiness!

There are meters galore, the commonest being the thermometer which is used to read your body temperature. But that is a wrong example, I know. It deals with the physical thing. We are talking about something abstract but very vital for the married folks, especially those who are into this great, even if fading institution (in the west), matrimony for let us say more than ten years. How does one measure or grade a happy marriage!

Of course, in all popular magazines for men and women, almost in every issue, there will be some article, questionnaire or a quiz which deals with this subject, it's challenges and gives out some guidelines if not solutions, to all married couples. What I have in mind is a little different, a set of questions which you need to ask yourself and answer honestly after every social get together you take part in at your own home or outside. These are as follows:-

1. Do you openly support your spouse in any discussion if you agreed with him/ her?

2. If you do not agree, do you go out of your way to oppose and criticise to make it uncomfortable?

3. Do you appreciate your spouse the way he/she was dressed in a gathering?

4. Or do you mentally compare him/her with others and and make your disappointment obvious?

5. If the party is held at your own house, do you make it a point to express your appreciation for doing his/her part so well?

6. Or you show your exasperation for something which did not go as planned?

7. We all have our handicaps, some obvious, some hidden. Do you consciously make an effort not to draw others' attention to his/her such thing?

8. Or just because you were a bit cheesed off with something, you do exactly the opposite?

9. Do you feel happy that he/she gets more attention in a gathering because of some strong point or reason? Especially if it is from the other sex!

10. Or does it make you a bit jealous and unhappy even if it is very fleeting?

If you get positive answers to all the above questions, I feel you will get a reading of a 100 % meaning a very, very happy marriage. But that will be too optimistic. So let us settle for three positive answers and declare it a happy marriage! 

Regardless, I am very happily married;just ask my dear wife!

Shopping groceries for the wife!

I wish to share some of my woos with my friends, other husbands, those like me who have to deal with the daily chore of going out to buy vegetables and groceries. Why me you may wonder! This happens with me very often, just because my dear wife is too busy with work at home or may be because it is time for her to watch her favourite TV serial. So she very amiably asks me to write down a list of things to be purchased. And she gives me the precise items and quantities so that I do not get confused. Yes, she is very considerate knowing how dull or dumb I am even now after years of doing this ever since I retired from my main job!

With all the preventive measures she takes, I nevertheless still manage to make a few mistakes and then have to face her music. You understand what I mean?!

You see, this seemingly simple chore of buying vegetables and groceries is full of many pitfalls. If let us say, bananas are on the list, it is very easy. I know my bananas and how many to buy. But if the fruit happens to be a papaya, then it is a bit complicated for me. One papaya, but how big? And it has to be ripe enough but not too ripe! How do I know that in the face of the determined seller who assures me, 'Saab, ekdum theek hai'. In good faith, I buy it and sure enough, my wife rejects the item when I return home!

Generally, I do not make mistakes while buying vegetables;I mean take one or two. I know the tomatoes, onions and potatoes so simple to buy and also my favourites. But walk in brinjals or eggplants and I am tormented by their different sizes, shapes and colours. I simply love palak that is spinach and I am flawless with it. But others in the group like methi or dhania, coriander make me a bit tense. I recognise them but am not sure about their quality!

I am generally clueless about other vegetables like beans and rest of the stuff. I am OK with cabbage and cauliflower  but can survive without them. I also do not care about the popular bhindi that is ladies fingers which my son-in law Neeraj simply loves. When he visited us soon after he and my daughter Savita got married, he accompanied me to buy vegetables. To my dismay, the first item he chose was bhindi. I told the seller to weigh a quarter of a kilo of the stuff. Neeraj was baffled! Why so little he asked and then quickly raised the quantity to one kilo! This reminds me of my son Mahesh who is so much like me! He and I keep things simple;we are staunch non-veggies! We have this conviction that vegetables make life complicated for no reason!

Today, my shopping list contained peanuts with which I am quite familiar. I came home with with three bags full of shopping, very confident that I have missed nothing, slipped nowhere! My wife opened the bags, looked quite satisfied till she noticed the packet of peanuts. 'You have brought the wrong peanuts. I asked you bring plain peanuts and you got the salted ones' she remarked haughtily!

Buying rice is really tough for me. A few days back,  my wife asked me to buy basmati rice, one kilo, along with some other items. Till some years back, it was easy to buy basmati. Now, there are so many varieties of this brand, I am pretty nervous about it if my if my wife forgets to mention the exact brand!

By now, you must have realised that one can not be too complacent even in such innocuous activities like shopping vegetables and groceries. You need to be on guard, eternally vigilant  lest you meet your Waterloo with some peas!

With this aim in view and also to placate my most annoyed wife, I suggested a sort of truce with a simple system;every time I return from such shopping, she should examine the things I bought and then grade me. Like they do in schools and colleges! If I got nine things right out of ten, she should award me 90% marks which would be like outstanding! If I get eight things right, I get 80% marks which is equivalent to excellent. And if I manage to get seven items right, I get 70% which is still a first class!

What do you say folks? If you are with me on this, please pass on this system to your wives and let me know their feedback. As far as my wife is concerned, she gave me a look meaning 'have you lost your mind?' Or something like that!

My country, my children!

Now that I am old, really old, I often wonder whom do I love most! Do not get me wrong, I am not thinking about romantic attachments though they meant a lot to me when I was a teenager and then in my twenties. It was ages back when my heart went racing at the very thought of the very idea of love at first sight. Will it happen, when will it happen? It did happen but was not first in the real sense. So many such 'firsts' followed, I have lost count of them. And mostly these encounters were one sided, you know what I mean!

I am talking about my thoughts of today, Jan 26. It gave me real goosebumps when I witnessed the Republic Day parade on the TV. My country India, my people, the majestic tricolour, our marching soldiers, I simply loved them. I know we have our faults like the rest of the world. But I am sure we will overcome!

The very thought of India including the crowds, the bustling day to day activity, the noise and even the dirt makes me long for it. Morning walks with friends, meeting neighbours on the staircase and be able to have a conversation, talking politics, cricket and Bollywood, or just walk down to the society shops to buy vegetables and groceries has it's own pleasures! People have enough time for such mundane things and a morning seems to have more hours there than here, in the west. Maybe, I have spent too much time in the sterile and antiseptic world of America and it is time for me to go back because all said and done, I love my country!

Easier said than done though because after my country, I love my grandkids the most. 

Jan 26 also happens to be my youngest grandkid Akshay 's birthday. We cut the birthday cake early this morning. A party will follow on the weekend.

This also reminds me of my grand daughter Mallika and my eldest grandson Avinash who are as dear to me. Only, I suppose Akshay has that extra edge just because his birthday coincides with that of the Republic of India. 

God bless my dear grandchildren!

It is a different matter that they have barely any time for me. Koi baat nahin, I forgive them!

College days!

A few years back, after I had retired from the army, my son presented me with a set of three books by the well known writer, James Herriot. All three books are about his life as a veterinary doctor, the most famous is titled 'All things bright and beautiful'. He wrote about animals in a gentle, wise and humorous way. His deep compassion and love of life shines out in his writings as described in Wikipedia. If you love animals, I strongly recommend  reading his books!

This post is about my early days and my brush with veterinary science as a student. (Yes sir, I was a veterinarian before I joined the army!) But it has nothing to do with the profession itself;you can relax and follow what I was up to, if so inclined. And I do seriously hope, we will still be friends!

In the first place, I joined the veterinary college at Osmania University, Hyderabad because I just could not make it to a medical college. Biology being my main subject, I had no other option in those days. It so happened that we had a wing of medical college right next to our college which was a big problem. Let me explain! In our veterinary college, we had no girls, not even one. On the other hand, this medical college had several which made us acutely conscious of our disadvantage so to speak!

As a result, a few of us bunked our morning classes with some regularity and sat in the university canteen which overlooked the road leading to the medical college just to watch the medical girls walking up to their building. A harmless but painfuL activity you will agree!

On some mornings, we had practical anatomy classes in the open where our teachers had a horse or a bullock depending upon the 'subject', explaining various part of the animal to us, we standing in a semicircle. And invariably, these medical girls would be walking up with their white aprons on their arms, on the road right next to us, completely distracting our gaze and attention from the animal under our observation to themselves, thus affecting our grades. Most unfair, you will agree again!

The two professors most affected by our rather indisciplined behaviour, I still remember their names, were one Dr Reddy and the other, Dr Takkiuddin. (I hope and wish, they are fine wherever they are!). Whenever, they happened to meet us outside the classes, they will unfailingly express their sympathy and concern for our futures. And to be fair to their emotions, we did change our ways and graduated as veterinarians in time. Except one guy by the name Pande;he simply loved the college and the whole works! We understand, he took full 7 years to complete that 4 year course and was elected twice as president of the college students union before he graduated. With full honours I will say!